Which is better. To tell our youth that sex before marraige is wrong. That the one biological imperative, the need to procreative and ensure our survival, is limited to the rules of social acceptance and morality. That not having sex is the only alternative to keep you safe or to prevent pregnancy. It seems to me that society is going about it the wrong way. We should be delivering a positive information instead of turning it into a smoke screen. We shouldn't be instilling fear, telling our children that it dangerous, that they'll regret it, pretty much downplaying there intelligence. Now dont get me wrong safety is a huge issue but we shouldnt shake our fiinger and say JUST DONT DO IT! We should educate, show that that it's ok and there are concequences but knowledge is a much sharper sword when compared to ignorance and fear.
Abstinance vs. Education
Started by
Guest_iamhoan
, Jan 17 2010 10:22 PM
17 replies to this topic
#3
Guest_bruevitz
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Posted 18 January 2010 - 01:48 PM
Interesting topic. I do believe in education. Though I do no believe that education can solve this sort of problem. The topic of sex and pro-creation itself is unique in nature. How can one expect to tell one child: "SEX is GREAT, but it can led to unwanted pregnancy, ruin your life, and unwanted diseases." and expect a correct response from one child. I do not think inflicting fear into one's child mind would be good too, since its not entirely correct. Well, one must understand when a child undergoes puberty and start being conscious of their opposite it is a sign of a healthy development.I do believe in teaching 'respect' into sex. Though this may sound kind of B.S. to some of you, I just don't see it any other way.I would guessed that the big blow of comeback that a child would ask a parent: "So mom/dad, did you guys had your 'first sex' after you got married?""....errr..............................................., sure we did 
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#4
Guest_The Flying Dutchman
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Posted 23 January 2010 - 03:21 AM
Honestly I think education about sex just needs to be rechecked a little. Naturally the first time it was talked about in my school was when we reached high school, so from age 13 onwards during the time that most of us would've started puberty. But the one thing that I remember about those classes is that the teachers and the lessons were focused more on showing you why sex is a bad thing. They'd show diseases, they'd show videos about pregnant teens, and virtually anything to discourage you from sex at a "young" age, and 30% of the lessons were dedicated to actually centred around learning about the bodies of both men and women and how sex actually works and how pregnancy occurs.Ok, I can understand why they would try to convince us to wait for as long as possible, but by constantly throwing images of diseases at you isn't gonna work, and a general show of discouragement is stupid. Teachers should rather be somewhat encouraging students to feel free to explore sexually but to do it at a much more mature age. This in effect would work, because imagine sex to be like alcohol. The more they tell you that you can't have it, the more you want it. Its human nature to want the things you can't have and if you have dozens of people telling you that you cannot and are not allowed to have sex, then naturally you're going to want it more, because you're curious to find out whats so bad/good about it that they won't let you have it til a certain age. If you instead make it sound like less of a bad thing and more of a good thing, then teens would then be less likely to go out and do stupid things and would be more thoughtful towards actually using protective measures and being respectful to one another.
#5
Wolf O'Donnell
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Posted 23 January 2010 - 02:33 PM
Abstinence versus sex education is a false dichotomy, because the latter would include abstinence in its remit. So given a choice between abstinence and sex education, I'd ensure that sex education would always win.Besides, which, the evidence shows that abstinence-only education is a failure.http://www.washingto...7041301003.html
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#7
Guest_Nobody Else
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Posted 16 February 2010 - 05:23 PM
The reality is, like most things in life, there needs to be a balance. There is no reason you can't teach both.I feel that sex education in America is seriously lacking from my personal experience. A younger person or someone from another country could tell me if that has changed or is different else where. When I was in school, sex education could basically be summarized in the topics...1. Names of the anatomy parts (somewhat irrelevant, does knowing the name of the scrotum or vulva really change anything?)2. All you would ever want to not about every STD and the great shame of getting one.3. Oh yeah, if you have sex outside of marriage you'll die. Abstinence or DIE!They didn't even teach the importance of condoms. Me and my husband were married in our mid-twenties, both as virgins, both very undereducated about sex. We didn't even know what condoms were, or how to use them, until after I accidently became pregnant, and my daughter died during labor. Afterwards, during therapy, the doctor helped teach us how to use condoms correctly to prevent another accidental pregnancy before we were ready so this wouldn't happen again.I really could care less about the religious aspects of sex education which unfortunately is tying the hands of the educational system a lot, when the focus should really be on children and young adult's safety. Abstinence is important to teach, not for moral reasons, but for health reasons. There's an old saying which is very true; the only safe sex is to not have sex at all. It's absolutely positively true. But that doesn't mean it's not equally important to teach what to do when you do have sex; proper birth control and condom usage.The way I see, sex education should be roughly the following:1. Avoid having sex for as long as possible for safety and health reasons.2. When you EVENTUALLY do have sex, practice proper safe sex techniques.3. An emphasis on the fact that people who have had multiple sex partners are high risk and are no-longer desirable sexual partners.I put the third one there, because I feel that is a common misconception among teenagers today. They look at the idea that having sex with many different people makes you popular, and good at sex... and to some extent, I suppose that's right. But the reality is it also makes them a walking biohazard symbol. They are a living, breathing, walking, biological weapon. And the more they have slept around, the more dangerous they are to you, and the less desirable they should be to you.
#8
Guest_ZaiRo18
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Posted 17 February 2010 - 08:44 AM
well it may vary depending on the person to be spoken of...if you think that that person is a little childish then it is not the right time for that topic..GPs were deducted for this post, please read the rules! - Papagenu
#9
Guest_anberlin4eva
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Posted 29 November 2010 - 04:14 AM
100% sex education! If you were to tell someone that something was forbidden, and it was a bad thing, not only will they be tempted to try it more (like Eve in the Garden of Eden) they may feel incredibly guilty they have done such a "bad" thing and dislike themselves for it.However, sex is inevitable anyway, and its not a BAD thing. So it would be best to educate one on the importance of protection if they do decide to do it, and what the consequences could be if they do. Awareness is better than attempted prevention.Something else that I think needs to be taught, especially in high school, is respect for oneself and ones own body. This, coupled with sex education, will ensure that teenagers make the right decisions concerning sex, whether they choose to do it or not.
#10
grshen80
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Posted 30 November 2010 - 07:09 AM
I had the most embarrassing teacher to teach me about abstinence... and the whole "sex education" thing. e____e She repeated things, and we learned this in seventh grade. I still remember one of the songs... it was disturbing.Anyway, I guess a large part of it is the whole transmission from teacher to student - I feel that it's somewhat weird (due to my own experiences... ;u;) I'm pretty sure a lot of us were embarrassed and just didn't want to listen at all. I remember telling my mom to sign a sheet about abstinence and that I wouldn't do it until I was married and signing it myself, but really. No one is going to actually remember that, no one would actually care about that. Don't get the point of that entire class, really.It definitely does need to be taught though. It is about your own body, and if teens aren't really guided the right way, then how are they supposed to make decisions about it? If they don't know about the consequences, there really is no way to decide what's right or not.
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#11
Ragamuffin
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Posted 01 December 2010 - 12:03 AM
Education, definitely. I'd rather my kids know the pros and cons of sex rather than coasting through life, being totally ignorant about it. I've known people who were in their thirties, married with kids, and couldn't tell you what a clitoris was.The problem is that many parents don't want their kids to learn about sex from school, and even more don't want to talk about it with their kids. Parents, in America anyway, tend to shelter and infantilize their children, while at the same time dressing their 12 year old daughters like whores because it's fashionable. You can't have it both ways and not expect your kids to suffer the consequences.
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#12
Guest_Rayadragon
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Posted 01 December 2010 - 03:34 AM
I have to agree with Wolf a bit on this one, in that any sex education should include the concept of abstinence. However, it's foolish to think that teaching abstinence alone is going to do anything other than keep adolescents ignorant about what the actual consequences of sex are, and how to prevent things like STDs and pregnancy. Without an actual education, and without trusted adults who they can discuss sex with, these same adolescents then become victims of any rumor that floats their way. Personal favorites include the "women can't get pregnant if they don't have an orgasim" and the perennial "you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex."So much of the general lack of sex education in the US (got a chuckle out of the listing the bits and pieces comment) reminds me of ignoring a problem to solve it. This of course solves nothing. Only by confronting the issue, and actually educating adolescents about sex, can you actually have a chance of preventing the things that the general public seems to fear the most.
#13
skulhedface
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Posted 02 December 2010 - 09:24 PM
Abstinence IS education (or at the very least, something you're learning when being educated in an academic on sexual topics), so I think that renders that moot. I will say this, however-- people are going to do what they're going to do sexually. Whether it's right or wrong, I don't care (to clarify, as for the purposes of this topic; I think we all agree pedophilia and stuff is terrible). However, I DO feel that it's a great idea to give people sexual education. To learn about abstinence, or how to protect yourself or make educated decisions regarding sex, is almost necessary. People won't stop having sex (and when they do, it's extinction time) so I feel that it's best to know what you're doing, what the possible consequences are, and why it's necessary to know these things.
#14
acg452
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Posted 03 December 2010 - 07:51 PM
Hmm... interesting question.For the first decade, or so, of a child's life, sex really isn't that big a topic, so the "I'll tell you when you're older" approach is a good one. After that, though, questions should be answered, with honesty and openness, because ultimately, people are going to make their own decisions. Better to be informed and properly warned before you stumble into something that can result in another life being created.
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#15
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Posted 09 December 2010 - 12:08 PM
BOTH are needed to a certain extent.The best way is to give them an outlet, hormones can really wreak havoc on younger minds.Truthfully my recommendation is to give them some porn, let them have thirty min to an hour to get the "stress" out. Yes, I'm aware that it is generally not recommended, but to put it bluntly, stress kills everyone needs some time to let it out.But if that isn't an option, just give them the basic info and well... hope for the best.Not everyone is going to go out of their way to get a girlfriend or boyfriend.
#16
Guest_fly_panda
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Posted 10 December 2010 - 05:04 AM
I think even if adults tell teenagers "never ever ever" have sex before marriage, they're still gonna have sex anyway :/ so it's better to educate them about all the issues and consequences you have to face when you actually become pregnant. I think teenagers can learn a thing or two from watching 16 and pregnant or teen moms on mtv. I would be too scared to have sex if I watched that 
nobody wants to sacrifice their teenage years. so education is very important to prevent pregnancy
nobody wants to sacrifice their teenage years. so education is very important to prevent pregnancy
#17
Guest_leana
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Posted 21 April 2011 - 08:41 AM
Education is definitely the way to go. It's not like students will attend one sex ed. class and then immediately go crazy with lust. This is just educating everyone on how to practice safe sex so as to not get any STDs or STIs. Also, prevention is an extremely important issue that everyone should be aware of and informed about. The world is already over populated, so more 'surprise' babies aren't exactly the best thing right now.
#18
Yuto
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Posted 07 January 2012 - 03:55 AM
Obviously education is better, considering how many times have you been in school and seen two or three students not show up for a while and they're grades are slipping...it's most likely due to the female students being pregnant, So obviously Schools need to re-reinforce abstinence because clearly it's not working...Education wins!! 
