Question for everyone.Me and my girlfriend are planning to have a baby. We're both 21, we both work and we both love each other. We decided to sit down with our family to talk about it, it was scary! The question came up "Are you old enough to be able to look after a child?" To be honest, there are people younger then us with no jobs or anything to actually supply for a child. What do you guys think?How old should people be to have kids? Think its a good idea?
Too young for kids?
Started by
Guest_Forum Freak
, Nov 07 2010 10:08 PM
38 replies to this topic
#2
Guest_Akkthepally
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Posted 07 November 2010 - 10:35 PM
Well i think that age doesnt really matter its more ability that counts, i mean if you can support and take care of the child who cares how old you are.
#3
Guest_djknitex
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Posted 07 November 2010 - 10:41 PM
Well I guess 21 could be a good start for kids, but I usually think around 24-25 (Whenever you graduate from college) would be a good start to raise a kid... but 21 is much better than 13-16 year old supporting their kids... I think 21 should be a borderline age..If you guys want kids go for it! I'm sure you guys will be good parents and will support your child 
#4
Guest_2bigpigs
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Posted 08 November 2010 - 07:08 AM
As long as the 2 of you are settled in a house of your own and have a permanent job, It should be okay.I really am in no position to comment on this since I'm still a kid. So good luck, Hope you have a healthy child
#5
gameplayer5
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Posted 08 November 2010 - 01:16 PM
Basically,I think that you should wait for another year or so, just to make sure you've got everything you might need to take care of a child. After all, it's not good to have one if you're partially broke, or you don't have a job to keep yourself from becoming broke. And you also need to have the patience for the kid,so stress is a big no-no. Unless you've taken care of school, a job for one of you, supplies, yaddayadda, then go for it.
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#6
Guest_caffeinesoul
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Posted 08 November 2010 - 07:20 PM
I don't think age is relevant (once you pass the age of 18 
). So long as you know the responsibilities, and you feel prepared for it; it doesn't matter how old you are!Just don't name your child something stupid like this:http://www.netmums.c...niqua-what.html
). So long as you know the responsibilities, and you feel prepared for it; it doesn't matter how old you are!Just don't name your child something stupid like this:http://www.netmums.c...niqua-what.html
#7
Guest_Forum Freak
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Posted 09 November 2010 - 02:34 AM
I lol'd so hard! (people are freaks, truely)I dont think we would name our child something so dumb. If Jess wants to, im gone! (Jokes). It is still to early to think of names. We still have to talk about alot... Babies are hard work when planning has anything to do with it! Keep saying "rome didnt build itself by having meetings".I don't think age is relevant (once you pass the age of 18
). So long as you know the responsibilities, and you feel prepared for it; it doesn't matter how old you are!Just don't name your child something stupid like this:http://www.netmums.c...niqua-what.html
#8
Guest_caffeinesoul
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Posted 09 November 2010 - 05:04 AM
I don't have the patience to want to start a family, I admire you.I lol'd so hard! (people are freaks, truely)I dont think we would name our child something so dumb. If Jess wants to, im gone! (Jokes). It is still to early to think of names. We still have to talk about alot... Babies are hard work when planning has anything to do with it! Keep saying "rome didnt build itself by having meetings".
All the best for you and your girlfriend, and best wishes for your child; should you decide to bring one to the world.
#9
Guest_kenyk713
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Posted 10 November 2010 - 07:48 AM
whoa..... you want to have kids at 21?! no disrespect, but that sounds like crazy talk to me. 99% of young parents are forced into parenthood. forced into the tiring life of parenthood cuz it was an accident. i've got friends who are close to 30 who still don't want kids—they rather wait till like 35 or something. i mean, kids are great, but they're damned expensive and a whole lotta trouble. people start pursuing their dreams at 21—kids are supposed to come way later. not trying to sound cold or emotionally distant or anything, but a baby's jus gon tie you down. i don't want kids till i'm at least 30. and i mean 30 at the very least. ima wait till i've had a lotta fun while i'm still young, and until i'm big ballin
#10
Guest_Cripsus77
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Posted 10 November 2010 - 08:20 AM
Its all about responsibillity and dedication. Do it if you think you can.
#11
Guest_kefkamaydie
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Posted 11 November 2010 - 09:56 PM
I had my daughter when I was 23, and it was fine 
2 years earlier won't be a deal at all.
2 years earlier won't be a deal at all.
#12
Guest_Forum Freak
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Posted 11 November 2010 - 11:43 PM
We are diffrent from the 'forced' ones as we have planned ahead and know what we are getting into. Everyone is diffrent, some never want kids others do want kids.whoa..... you want to have kids at 21?! no disrespect, but that sounds like crazy talk to me. 99% of young parents are forced into parenthood. forced into the tiring life of parenthood cuz it was an accident. i've got friends who are close to 30 who still don't want kids—they rather wait till like 35 or something. i mean, kids are great, but they're damned expensive and a whole lotta trouble. people start pursuing their dreams at 21—kids are supposed to come way later. not trying to sound cold or emotionally distant or anything, but a baby's jus gon tie you down. i don't want kids till i'm at least 30. and i mean 30 at the very least. ima wait till i've had a lotta fun while i'm still young, and until i'm big ballin
Awesome! :)The only thing im not looking forward to is the smelly nappies, sleepless nights and not being able to fully love a hormonal GF... Or the morning sicknessI had my daughter when I was 23, and it was fine
#13
Guest_shinyyang
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Posted 13 November 2010 - 09:46 PM
Taking care of a baby is 24 work. Is there someone at home at all times? As long as the baby is taken care of all the time and is loved and nourished, I think it would be okay 
#14
Guest_kenyk713
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Posted 16 November 2010 - 03:45 AM
props to you on that homie. maybe you and i jus have very different perspectives on life. i see raising a kid as a huge chore that will prevent me from achieving my dreams and taking away a lot of the fun in my life. that's certainly what i see in the lives of my friends who had children at a young age (cept for the ones who are irresponsible parents and don't really care how their kids are turning out). like i said, i don't want kids till i'm at least 30. but i heard a lotta people enjoy raising their children—like they get a certain kinda high from taking care of their babies haha. i dunno... i'm 22 and i still kinda feel like a kid myself. i still wanna have some wild fun while i'm still young. but yeah, if you up to the challenge, i give you major props. to each his own hahaWe are diffrent from the 'forced' ones as we have planned ahead and know what we are getting into. Everyone is diffrent, some never want kids others do want kids.
#15
Guest_Casablanca III
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Posted 16 November 2010 - 06:07 AM
Honestly, if you're out here, searching for an answer to this question, you should probably reconsider and wait for some time to let things settle down. You have to be absolutely dedicated to your child and be prepared for any surprises (can you imagine twins?). Make sure you're comfortable with your decision, and your girlfriend should feel comfortable too. In the end though, life will unfold itself and it will all work out. Hopefully you're happy with whatever the outcome, since you have the power of love in your hands. Good luck!
#16
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Posted 16 November 2010 - 04:53 PM
While I love children and would like to have my own in the future, I'm not nearly ready to consider bringing another person into the world. I'm 22 now and have experienced starting a family firsthand. Two of my best friends (ages 24 & 25) decided to have a kid. I was their room mate for the whole pregnancy and first year of baby Kadins life. It was amazing and exhausting, even for me. Except I could leave the house and be kid free whenever I felt like taking a break away from the baby. There are no breaks when it's your child. I think it's great you are, obviously, spending time considering the risks and rewards of having a baby before making a decision. If there's any way you two can get lots of hands on time with infants, you should definitely take the opportunity. Volunteering at a kindergarten or Boys & Girls Club could help you decide if your ready for an 18 year, labor intensive commitment.Either way, best of luck to you guys. So happy to see that other people my age are being responsible and looking before they leap.
#17
Guest_rednotes
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Posted 16 November 2010 - 11:09 PM
21 isn't too young if you really want to start a family.But think about all the money you would have to spend on a kid and the savings you'd have to start. I'm assuming you both have solid careers so you could easily start that up, but consider this...Would you like to travel while you're older or younger? You can't really take kids to the Vatican when they're 5... or anywhere until maybe when they're in high school so thats a solid 14 years of not traveling anywhere(and when i say traveling i mean around the world, not to grandma's and grandpa's)you can still travel but you're stuck with disneyw/e and resorts(where you can't leave your kid alone)This is just something to consider if you guys like to travel or would like to save up and go somewhereAnother thing to consider is what mat leave is like and whether it would effect your girlfriends?(wife...fiance?) job and whether that would mean she would have to start all over again. i know this is a worry for my sister( who's an 25 years old enginerd). She's starting to become well known in her company, but still isn't there yet and having a kid could potentially ruin any advancement she's madeBut really just go with what you FEEL is right and if you feel you would have adrokable kids together, then have them! Because what ever you do will be the right choice....just don't wait until you're like 40
#18
Guest_blucow
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Posted 18 November 2010 - 02:42 AM
you want to make sure you yourself have enough life experience to impart onto your children. it's not a matter of maturity or ability, but of having experienced other beautiful things life has to offer. traveling, volunteering, etc
#19
SlasherManEXE
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Posted 03 January 2011 - 06:57 AM
The things that more important than age is responsibility and ability to give support. If you've put a lot of thought into it and believe you both are ready, then the choice is yours.
#20
reaper68
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Posted 03 January 2011 - 02:12 PM
what more can you ask for, if you both think your ready then your ready, you got a lot more going for you both then you think.we both work and we both love each other.
both of you are 21 years old, your a man now and it only gets better with kids, the best thing we ever done was to make a family, and it just get beter watching then grow,it was scary!
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#21
Obliv1ousmAn
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Posted 03 January 2011 - 11:22 PM
having kids at 21!? I dont think Ive ever heard that statement from a man before no offense. I mean I've helped raise half my cousins and have done most of the watching of my 2 younger sisters. Then again I might just hate it and find it exhausting b/c im still too young to buy my own damn alcohol just remember give them lots of attention and spend time with them every chance you get. Im sure you've heard the song cats in the cradle :lmao:but hell if you 2 are ready emotionally and financially i give you my best oh ya dont let them wet their pullups!! it gives a mean diaper rash 
just remember give them lots of attention and spend time with them every chance you get. Im sure you've heard the song cats in the cradle :lmao:but hell if you 2 are ready emotionally and financially i give you my best oh ya dont let them wet their pullups!! it gives a mean diaper rash
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#22
Guest_sporter
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Posted 04 January 2011 - 02:30 AM
age doesnt matter as long as you are able to support and properly care for the child
#23
Guest_lmm708
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Posted 04 January 2011 - 03:53 AM
I agree with the previous post. I don't think there is a specific age that makes a person too young to have children. As long as you are responsible and able to support the child it shouldn't matter how old you are. There are people in their forties who can't even take care of their kids so just because a person is older does not mean they are better able to care to a child.
#24
Guest_ParaKiss
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Posted 13 March 2011 - 10:40 PM
Personally I would wait a few years. I mean there's so many things out there to see, do and experience! Why not do that first? Having a baby is a big responsibility, along with the numerous expenses, so it'll get quite hectic. But if you guys do decide on having one, best of luck to you two! =]
#25
Guest_Arnobcsk
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Posted 14 March 2011 - 12:21 AM
Can't agree more. However, if you really wanna take the age seriously, then I would say after you graduate from college. Then , you are not too young, but not too old.I am saying college because, when people graduate from college,they have their own responsiblity.So,go for itWell i think that age doesnt really matter its more ability that counts, i mean if you can support and take care of the child who cares how old you are.
