Mr. Burns: Dogs are filthy animals! How would YOU like it is I came into your house, started sniffing your crotch and slobbering all over your face?Smithers: If YOU did it, sir?Homer: I'm no super geinus! ... or are I?Sideshow Bob disguised as Krusty: Hand over all your money in a paper bag!Apu: Yes, yes. I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convienence store, you know!Maybe not the exact words, but there ya go!
The Simpsons - Quotable Quotes
Started by djflash, Jun 08 2004 07:06 AM
424 replies to this topic
#326
Guest_The Shy Guy of Purple
Guest_The Shy Guy of Purple
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Posted 05 January 2006 - 10:00 PM
#327
Guest_gamemaniac85
Guest_gamemaniac85
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Posted 06 January 2006 - 12:51 AM
"I am evil Homer"
#328
Guest_ramenboy005
Guest_ramenboy005
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Posted 06 January 2006 - 02:06 AM
homer- (in his mind) boy i know you know what im thinking so. meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow mewo meow meow.
#329
Guest_blade892
Guest_blade892
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Posted 06 January 2006 - 02:50 AM
Homer- no tv no beer make homer something somethingmarge- go crazyhomer- don't mind if i do ahhh ho ahhh h ahhh ho booga boga
#330
Guest_Angelicmon
Guest_Angelicmon
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Posted 06 January 2006 - 06:27 AM
I collect Quotes.You can tell, ne?Now, the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury. ~ Groundskeeper WillieI used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you... ~ Abe ‘Grandpa’ Simpson Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. ~ Homer To the tune of ‘Those Were The Days’:Homer: Boy, the way the Bee Gee's played Marge : Movies John Travolta made Homer: Guessing how much Elvis weighed Both: Those were the days! Marge: And you knew where you were then Homer: Watching shows like Gentle Ben Both: Mister, we could use a guy like Sheriff Lobo again! Homer: Disco Duck and Fleetwood Mac Marge: Coming out of my eight track Both: Michael Jackson still was black... those were the days! [later on in episode] Homer: Bart was feeling might blue Marge: It's a shame what school can do Apu : For no reason here's Apu! All : Those were the days! Marge, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. ~ HomerBilly Corgan: Billy Corgan; Smashing Pumpkins. Homer: Homer Simpson; smiling politely. There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson. ~ BartThat's where I saw the Leprechaun, he told me to burn things! ~ Ralph I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it. ~ Principal Skinner There's no justice like angry mob justice. ~ Principal Skinner Please do not offer my god a peanut. ~ Apu Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie! ~ Apu You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head. ~ Marge This house has quite a long and colorful history. It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground, and was the setting of Satanic rituals, witch burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials. ~ RealtorDo my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons. ~ Mr. Burns Ahh it's that jolly TV leprechaun, I'm going to get your Lucky Charms! ~ Mr. Burns He's not like anybody I've ever met. He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest. ~ Lisa (on Nelson). Sometimes I wish a cat would eat me. ~ Millhouse Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers. ~ Homer It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone. ~ Homer Oh smiteful one, tell me who to smite and they will be smoten. ~ HomerThere’s not nearly an animal alive who can outrun a greased Scotsman! ~ Willie Call me Mint Jelly cause I'm on the lamb! ~ Abe Lisa: Dad you promised you'd get my saxophone back! Homer: We're working on that honey, also literacy programs, community service, World Domination! Lisa: World domination?! Homer: Oh sorry that must be a typo. ( :: Note to self, The girl knows too much :: ) If I withhold the truth may I go straight to hell where I will eat not but burning hot coals & drink not but burning hot cola where fiery hot demons will pinch me in the back, where my soul be chopped into confetti & strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers, where my tongue will be torn out my ravenous birds. ~ Rev. Lovejoy’s Oath of Truth (Simpsons)
#331
Guest_The Shy Guy of Purple
Guest_The Shy Guy of Purple
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Posted 06 January 2006 - 09:15 AM
Homer: An anchor, eh? *Looks at Bart and pictures him as an anchor*Bart: Think harder, Homer. Homer: Can you say, "daddy"?Lisa: Hom- er!Milhouse: Have you ever been on a police car?Bart: Not in the front.Mr. Burns: Hmm... that's weird. The blood usually gets off on the second floor.Mr. Burns: By cutting off the cable and the beer supply, I'll ensure an honest winter's work out of those people! [Or some other word.]Smithers: Sir, did you ever stop to think that this is what caused to previous caretakers to go mad and murder their family?Mr. Burns: Hm... you may be on to something. Tell you what; we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a coke.
#332
.Kv
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Posted 15 January 2006 - 02:22 PM
Moe: So there a chance we could go outPatty: NOMoe: Well you know where i amPatty Yea in my nightmares!Moe: oh ouch that was harsh
#333
Guest_amy
Guest_amy
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Posted 16 January 2006 - 06:12 AM
Homer:"mmmh fifty dollar pritzel" when the simpsons were stuck in japan lol funny episode
#334
Guest_scorching_hot_dragon
Guest_scorching_hot_dragon
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Posted 16 January 2006 - 07:25 AM
you couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machineapril fo... kaboom!...is that beer coming out of the simpsons chimneywe're all going to hawaii...YAY!!!... ha ha, april fools, there's still 2 minutes til' tommorow... dad, it's may 18th, you've been in that coma for over a month... he's lost 10% of his brain...*laughs*... me lose brain, uh oh...*more laughs*
Edited by scorching_hot_dragon, 16 January 2006 - 07:25 AM.
#335
Guest_Toukaishi
Guest_Toukaishi
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Posted 16 January 2006 - 10:26 AM
Homer: Umm, BeerHomer: I am evil Homer
#336
Guest_kyle_i2188
Guest_kyle_i2188
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Posted 16 January 2006 - 03:51 PM
Whats the point of going out? We're just gonna end up back here anyway. - Homer
#337
Guest_maxsteel
Guest_maxsteel
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Posted 17 January 2006 - 04:40 AM
playing scrabble homer : ID isn't a word! bart : yeah it is as in this game is stup ID
#338
Guest_Succus
Guest_Succus
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Posted 17 January 2006 - 11:05 AM
Homer:"Ahhh,AAAA!!!!"Miss Krebaple:"Whats wrong with him now Bart?"Bart:"Night Terors mamm"Homer:"Ahh,Cobras!COOBRAS!!!!"
#339
Guest_jenchen
Guest_jenchen
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Posted 18 January 2006 - 12:44 AM
It tastes like grandma!Ralph Wiggum.
#340
Hound Of Chulainn
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Posted 23 January 2006 - 08:28 AM
Kodos: "My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."
"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on..."
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on..."
#341
Guest_bfh99
Guest_bfh99
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Posted 23 January 2006 - 08:55 AM
Marge-Homer what do u want for Dinner?Homer-Steak?Marge-We cant have it todayHomer-Steak?
#342
Guest_krayfesh
Guest_krayfesh
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Posted 23 January 2006 - 09:02 AM
Lisa: Did you know that the Japanese have the same word for Crisis as they do for Opportunity?Homer: Yes! Crisitunity!Willie: It's Bonjourrrrrrrrrrrrr! Ya cheese eatin' surrender monkeys!Willie: They're our natural enemies. Like the British and Scots. And Japanese and Scots. And Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!Homer: Everytime I learn something new it pushes old stuff out of my brain. Remember when we went to the wine tasting convention and I forgot how to drive?
#343
l3eavis
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Posted 23 January 2006 - 09:42 AM
Bart - "What's the point of this story?"Homer - "I like stories."
#344
Guest_monkeyman41
Guest_monkeyman41
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Posted 23 January 2006 - 10:58 AM
marge=are u eatinghomer= no im farting
#345
Guest_deepsydiver
Guest_deepsydiver
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Posted 23 January 2006 - 04:16 PM
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him
#346
.Kv
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Posted 28 January 2006 - 03:14 PM
when homer was on a palne to missionary work he saidHomer : Save me jebus loland on the isle he keep says oh god oh god oh god lol makes me laugh
#347
Guest_Toukaishi
Guest_Toukaishi
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Posted 30 January 2006 - 03:02 AM
"oh, look at me. i'm making people happy..."
#348
Guest_Enxica
Guest_Enxica
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Posted 30 January 2006 - 06:16 AM
"What is mind? No Matter""What is matter? Never Mind
#349
Guest_Reactor
Guest_Reactor
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Posted 30 January 2006 - 07:04 AM
You can run, but you can't glide! hahahahaha!
#350
.Kv
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Posted 30 January 2006 - 07:02 PM
Homer as Safety SalamanderHomer: Ok the thing about safety on the school bus is seat beltsOtto: we dont have any seat beltshomer: No seat belts, what is going to stop us if we crashStudent: These metal railsHomer: STOP*childrens head hits on metal bars with funny sound* lol that was funny
