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2bigpigs

Member Since 12 Jul 2009
Offline Last Active Jul 12 2015 05:32 PM

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About Me

College.
Not here anymore.

Community Stats

Group Dragon's Elite
Active Posts 1,919
Profile Views 7,946
Member Title Reaper Dragon
Age 21 years old
Birthday July 1, 1994
Gender
Male

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189 Excellent

#5014553 Tell me a Joke

Posted by reaper68 on 09 May 2012 - 01:21 PM

I pulled an older woman at a night club the other day.
She was 61 but looks really good for her age.
On the way back to her house i was thinking to himself,
I bet her daughter is hot.
When out of the blue she asks me if I’d like a sportsman’s double.
What’s that? I said,
it’s a mother and daughter 3 some she says.
Wow yes please i said.
So as we go through the front door, she puts the hall way light on and shouts....... Mum are you still awake!!!! :waaa:

#5014540 Tell me a Joke

Posted by Ashera on 09 May 2012 - 08:43 AM

So this guy comes into a bar carrying his kid. His kid was born with birth defects--no limbs, no torso. But it's the kid's 21st birthday, so his dad brought him to the bar for his first drink. The bartender serves them a beer. The dad asks for a straw so the kid can drink it. They get a straw, the kid starts drinking, and BAM! A torso pops out of his neck. The dad can't say anything for a while he's so astounded. The kid asks for another beer. The bartender gives it to him, he starts drinking, and POP! POP! Two arms pop out. Another beer, and two legs appear. The dad's crying so hard now he can't see and thanking the bartender over and over. The kid's tottering around on his brand-new legs. He manages to stagger out of the bar into the street, trips, and gets run over by a car.

The bartender tsks and says "He should have quit while he was a head."

#5014374 whase here

Posted by Guest on 08 May 2012 - 12:30 PM

yeah, Java is okay, though I hate having to make GUIs to show anything on screen.

#5014357 Tell me a Joke

Posted by Guest on 08 May 2012 - 11:48 AM

I know only 1 joke that translates relatively well;

3 guys go to a swimming pool, but when they get there it appears to be empty.
they ask the lifeguard what's up, and he tells them it's a magic pool. and he shows them how to use it.
he runs off the diving board, yells "water", and yes, few seconds later he's swimming in water.
the first guy says "I can do that too".
he runs off the diving board, yells "beer", and yes, few seconds later he's swimming in beer.
the second guy says "I can do that too".
he runs off the diving board, yells "wine", and yes, few seconds later he's swimming in wine.
the third guy says "I can do that too".
he runs off the diving board, trips, yells "****", and yes, few seconds later.....

#5013992 Dgemu!

Posted by reddeath26 on 07 May 2012 - 01:51 AM

I guess this is all on me. As if I will recall it was quite busy when I was most active here, then I left and the community lost heart. Without their great inspiration, things became so meaningless.

#5013860 Channel28

Posted by Pan Dimensional Being on 06 May 2012 - 06:55 AM

Oh no. Did someone find something out about you after you shared your full name and multiple other pieces of personal information in a public manner in the Spam Center. SHOCKING!!!

Dumbass

#5013595 Hello! Nice to meet you all!

Posted by Yuto on 05 May 2012 - 02:04 AM

Hi, i hope we can all be friends. just new.

Friend request denied >=)

Just kidding. lol

Welcome to DG newcomer.

#5013536 Tell me a Joke

Posted by reaper68 on 06 May 2012 - 06:51 PM

I went to the pub last night and there was this fat girl dancing on a table.
I walked passed and said "f***ing amazing legs"
The girl giggled and said with a smile "do you really think so"
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collaspsed by now"!! :dance:

.

I had a near miss yesterday.
I walked into Homebase the D.I.Y store and some old guy dressed in green asked me if I wanted decking.
Fortunately I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.

#5013361 Tell me a Joke

Posted by Guest on 03 May 2012 - 10:35 PM

^{What do you get when you put an electrical current through a jar of jam?}

^{Jamzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!}

-1

#5008812 r4 3DS question

Posted by LizasLilProtege on 15 April 2012 - 11:53 PM

I can't imagine that they'd ban you from online play just because of a flashcart. I've never heard of Nintendo doing such a thing, anyway.... Sony, sure. I know they ban for certain hacks if they catch them. But, the difference with Sony is that you have a set account on there with your machine, regardless of the games you play. On a DS, it's not an account from a central operating system or anything; it's a connection through the game on local wifi. I think they'd have a great deal of difficulty even trying to enforce such a policy. So, as of right now, you're safe, and for the foreseeable future, I'm sure you are, too. There'd be a major update to the way the DS does things for this to even become a feasible threat.

#5013303 Tell me a Joke

Posted by reaper68 on 03 May 2012 - 05:24 PM

wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning; "windows frozen, what do i do?"
husband texts back; "pour some luke-warm water over it"
wife texts back; "hi again, my computer is completely f***ed now"

#5012367 SOPA,CISPA??

Posted by Ashera on 29 April 2012 - 08:01 PM

What's wrong with CISPA is that companies and the government are allowed to spy on everything you do online, they just have to say there was suspicion you might "cause harm". Suuper vague, they could do it at the drop of the hat

#5005636 3 Person Relationship.

Posted by Certos on 31 March 2012 - 10:05 PM

A three way relationship? Sounds like it might work out- only short-term though.Odd numbers are terrifying- there's always one person who'll feel left out. Jealousy aside, I've seen three people sustain a three way relationship for about two weeks before. Quite an accomplishment, I must say, though in the end they fell out. There'll inevitably be comparison between each of their "two lovers", and favouritism. I don't believe that anyone can love two people equally. In a majority-rules decision, you'd naturally support the person you liked more.Even keeping up a conversation between two people can be tiring- try three. There'd be a smaller scope of common topics to talk about. Unless the three of them have similar hobbies, lifestyles, etc, I don't really think it'd work out easily.